Hey y’all! Me, Scarlet, and Lucy are spending some time in Kentucky while my hubby is doing some training over the next couple of months. It’s so nice being surrounded by family, friends, and helping hands in every direction. HOWEVER, I keep getting, “y’all gonna try again soon?” (Fuck no). “Oh, you’ll change your mind” (hahaha shut up) or “you can’t leave that baby an only child!” (Yes I can). So this one is for you nosey folks that like to insert your opinion into the lives of people with one child, and the parents who have to take that shit with a grain of salt.
Before I had my daughter my magic number was 5…as in I wanted (thought I wanted) 5 kids (LOL). My daughter has single handedly made me lose my mind, find it, lose it again (and I haven’t seen it since). So when I say NO, I mean NO! I seriously do not think I have the mental capacity to raise another child. So when these stupid questions are asked it can make parents feel like shit for not WANTING any more kids. What is wrong with not wanting anymore?! NOTHING!
Also, it’s pretty fucking rude to ask these pushy questions. You wouldn’t ask a couple “why don’t y’all have kids?” So why is it okay to ask “why don’t y’all have MORE kids?”… SO STOP! Many couples (including my husband and I) struggled to even have one. It can be extremely emotional for couples who are just happy and blessed enough to have their miracle babies. Who’s to say that couple your asking ISN’T ALREADY TRYING!!? (And failing).
I’m still healing! I mean this both physically and mentally. I carried my daughter for nearly 10 months (yes you read that right) and then breast fed for almost 6 months. I’m just now taking ownership over my body again. I’m enjoying having myself to myself. I’m still healing from PPD/PPA/Mom brain/sleep deprivation/I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I have NO business adding another child into the mix. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m still adjusting to sharing my life with a tiny human that needs me 24 hours a day. I’m still adjusting to no longer being “Erika” but now “Erika, Scarlet’s mom”.
I want to enjoy my daughter…alone! I had a rough start to my motherhood journey and up until about a month ago it was extremely UNenjoyable. We’ve dealt with sleep issues, colic, reflux, bottle rejection, allergies, no support system nearby, and countless post postpartum issues…all within 6 months. Half a year has gone by and I’m JUST NOW enjoying being a mom…why in God’s name would I wanna go through that again?! “Not all babies are the same”. Yea, no shit Sherlock but I don’t wanna test the waters!
I know you have good intentions, and I know your not trying to be rude…but it is, and it’s annoying. So if a couple tells you they don’t want anymore, just leave it at that! One day we may change our minds and add more madness to our lives but for now…ITS A NO! Yes, my daughter will be just fine if she’s an only child, no we don’t want anymore, no I don’t see myself changing my mind about that!